Note: This article was originally posted on Trulia Blog (www.Trulia.com/corp) on Oct 18, 2014 by Colleen Egan http://www.trulia.com/pro/just-for-fun/31-secrets-real-estate-agents-never-tell-clients-2/
As a real estate agent, you become an expert in the art of smiling and nodding, of keeping calm and carrying on. But beneath your friendly, professional demeanor, you’re mentally tallying up those little demands, and keeping mum about your own hush-hush opinions and tricks of the trade to keep the deal on track. Here, agents spill their guts (anonymously, of course) about what they will never, ever say to their clients’ faces.
1. We bite our tongues so often that we have scar tissue.
2. No one knows what prices will be in three years. We wish we did!
3. I love being in the homes of people I don’t know. It makes me feel like a spy.
4. We Google clients (and check their Facebook and Twitter and Instagram…).
5. I’ve scrubbed more moldy bathtubs in my career than I’d like to admit.
6. We are not “reel-a-teers”!
7. When a seller wants to list too high, I want to tell them, “Might as well list it for a million, we’re not going to sell it at that price either.”
8. I don’t like your calls at 8 p.m. anymore than you like mine, but I know it’s part of the job.
9. You cannot say your house is updated if it was 15 years ago.
10. No, I don’t want clients around during the open home. They may love it, but no one wants to hear anyone talk about that plate collection—they want to see if they could make this house their home!
11. You want to offer $30K under asking to see if the seller is serious about selling? Hmmmm, OK. We may want to rethink that…
12. I once had a client whose home was so dirty that they were nicknamed the Piglet Family—it taught me to teach my clients early on to clean, declutter, and clean again!
13. No, I can’t lower my commission—I need it to pay for therapy!Just kidding!
14. A seller once asked, “Did you notice a dog smell?” and I’m thinking, “Dog smell? I thought somebody died in here!”
15. I hate it when people bring kids to open houses. Distraction! Also. I’m the one who ate the leftovers after the open house was over. #sorrynotsorry
16. I wish clients would accept my offer to get the house professionally cleaned. I’m trying to tell them that their house is dirty without offending them.
17. I hate to tell you, but no home is perfect. It’s best to get over it now or it’s going to be a rough ride.
18. The seller will love that lowball offer. It will help them get someone else to pay full price.
19. Your home isn’t worth that—no matter how much you wish it was—and I don’t have the power to change that.
20. Stop knocking on the freakin’ walls!
21. Why the heck didn’t you call me before you painted the whole house purple?!
22. I hate it when you call me to see homes you’re not going to buy. I get it, but it’s a waste of your time. Let’s focus on the homes that matter!
23. Sometimes, I am nodding but inside I am yelling, “WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?!”
24. When touring a home, buyers don’t find all those stuffed animals on the bed charming, just sad (and, yes, a little creepy—but I’ve seen worse).
25. I’d rather be at the movies right now.
26. Not often, but sometimes I pretend to know more about a neighborhood than I actually do.
27. I may secretly be just a little happy when you cancel the listing and you’re still on the market months later with that “awesome” agent you were convinced would do a better job.
28. Yes, of course your home is better than the one across the street! That one is just 1,500 square feet bigger….on an acre….with a walk-in closet…and two more bedrooms.
29. Some of my clients have a case of “champagne taste on a beer budget.”
30. When I suggested staging it’s because I was nicely saying that this dated décor won’t get this place sold for as much as my clients would like. And my job is to get homes sold!
31.After the sale, there are some clients know we won’t be working with again. Real talk.
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